From the time a woman is in her late thirties her reproductive organs are starting to “get old.” For years doctors have harped on the fact that you need to have your kids while you’re still young (translating to some time in your twenties) or the incidence of infertility etc., rises fairly dramatically. Although that becomes increasingly difficult given current lifestyle choices there’s definitely some logic to it. Along those same lines, however, from the time we’re in our mid to late thirties doctors are starting to respond to comments regarding our physical complaints by telling us we’re “getting older.” I don’t mind telling you that it was quite a shock the first time I confided to my wonderful (I’m not being facetious – he was great) gynecologist/fertility specialist that things down south seemed to be going south and he responded, “Well, you are getting older.” I am not! – well, technically nobody’s getting younger – but hell, I was still a spring chicken when he said that. So, I’ve been hearing that parts of me were “getting old” for a very long time now. And unfortunately, that “getting older” response so frequently given to women is often a catchall for ignoring our changing bodies and our concerns about them. That’s not just disheartening – it can also be lethal.

How many times have I heard of women going to their doctors with a specific complaint: my side hurts, I have an odd feeling in my stomach, my cramps are getting worse… There’s a whole myriad of things that could be caused by another whole myriad of things – some of them are nothing, but some of them are really bad. And who among us has not yet been countered by the now familiar, “Well, you are getting older” – with absolutely no thought given to exploring possible causes. Too many of us have had fatal, or potentially fatal, illnesses for which these symptoms were early warning signs. My very dear friend complained about a pain in her side. “You’re getting older, my dear,” said her doctor. She later found out that the pain in her side was breast cancer metastasizing into her bones. I myself was told, when I first complained about unusual bloating in my abdomen, that – you guessed it – I was getting older. When I pushed and griped enough to get my hysterectomy it was confirmed that I had stage IV endometriosis – which could have been fatal. Unfortunately, I could relate story after story like this but my goal isn’t to scare you into paralysis. It is to implore you to trust your own instincts. If there’s something going on that feels wrong don’t just accept the “getting older” blather. Push for more. Don’t be patronized! And keep pushing until you get an answer that puts your mind at rest.