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Menologues

Because stumbling blindly through menopause is less fun than it sounds

Please Don’t Ask Me to Help Promote Your Wrinkle Product!

July30

There are millions of dollars worth of wrinkle reducing products out there. And there are millions of dollars working to promote them.

In order to conduct my own very scientific experiment on various wrinkle reducing products, I first had to search for folks with wrinkles (denial is really a remarkable thing – isn’t it?).

After painstaking research conducted over a several year period I have come to the conclusion that there are four kinds of wrinkle reducing products that produce results of any kind, and they break out as follows:

  1. The kind that puffs you up so that wrinkles appear to fill out. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a mature individual that needs help in “puffing up.”
  2. The kind that tightens your skin so that the wrinkles disappear completely. The ensuing tightness is irrelevant – the mirror tells you you’re gorgeous! Unfortunately, one blink (and this is no exaggeration) and all your wrinkles come tumbling back into place. Talk about heartbreaking – I’m told.
  3. The kind that wend their way into your eyes, thus blurring your vision and creating the appearance (to you only) that your wrinkles are softer and less defined, and finally
  4. The kind that gives you an allergic reaction and you break out into hives or develop a red crusty irritation where the product was used most heavily. Works like a charm in deflecting attention from the deepest of wrinkles – so they say!

Based on my extensive research I have come to one inalienable conclusion, I am way too honest to help promote any of these products, including those that hail from some of the finest names in skincare and cosmetics.

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Back Fat Tuesday

February21

Last week we celebrated Fat Tuesday as our last big splash before Lent. It was party time! I say it’s high time we celebrated Back Fat Tuesday.

Why would we want to celebrate that, you ask? I have two very good reasons. First, most people don’t realize that back fat is really a loosening of back muscles more than a deposit of fat in the back. Even folks in fairly good shape begin to lose elasticity in those back muscles as aging progresses – back fat has been getting a bad rap for all these years and it deserves to be vindicated. It’s not a sign of slovenliness, it’s more like a badge of honor for those of us who’ve made it to this point! And second, any excuse for a party – especially at this dreary time of year.

And hell, we celebrate Lent as the end of decadence and the beginning of abstinence – why the hell not celebrate aging flesh?

Okay so maybe you’re not buying a celebration for a part of the body you’re increasingly trying to hide, but my point is really this, why shouldn’t we celebrate it instead of hiding it? Why do we have to be self-conscious of every single body part that begins to show a sign of aging? (Yes, I know there’s a niche group of you who are proud of every dent and wrinkle – but if you can’t show us how you do that – you’re no help! In fact, when you say “oh just don’t let that bother you, I don’t” you make us feel worse!). I want to feel like celebrating all of me!

Taking it a step further – I want “us” to be revered for making it to this point – not discounted and made to feel self-conscious. I get that we have to start this movement – but how do we do that? Women are supposed to be beautiful – if we’re not we either need to “get beautiful” no matter what it takes or hide. Let’s not wait until every state is like California where even gorgeous people are too ugly to be out on the streets and old people have all the “old” surgically removed!

We are a community of women who collectively accomplish a whole hell of a lot. Many cultures have revered their elders – it’s not like I just made this up. Why can’t we improve the perception of aging and make where we’re headed better than where we’ve been?

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Positive Aging or Punitive Ageism?

September1
Planning on enjoying eternal youth

Positive Aging or Punitive Ageism

Vincent Vassolo recently wrote a post entitled: The Power of Positive Aging. In it he states that baby boomers “know the destructive power of prejudice…they simply won’t tolerate ageism”.

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