Ten years ago in October I had a hysterectomy and started down my menopausal journey. In many ways it feels more like 30 years ago! So much has happened – correction – so much has had to be dealt with in that 10-year time frame.

Looking back on these past ten years the dominant feeling has been one of frustration. Dealing with a body that has changed, and not much of that change has been positive! I don’t even feel as joyous over the lack of a monthly cycle as I’d expected – man, I thought that would be a celebration every month – but it feels as though it’s just kind of faded away. Sometimes I try to remind myself of the discomfort and inconvenience just so I can feel triumphant – but it falls kind of flat.

What I do experience is the greater difficulty in losing weight (not that it’s ever been easy), the night sweats and the hot flashes. The ever present need to check my “freshness” on pretty much every front. In short, I kind off feel like a walking, clammy blob. It’s not great!

Do I sound whiny? Honey, I’m just getting started, but I’ll guarantee those around me would be crabbing about the broken record who’s been overgenerous with her TMI!

In fact, I’m lucky. I have a great doctor who monitors my hormones and works to improve my symptoms, a wonderful chiropractor who helps me with symptoms as well as controlling scar tissue from my surgery – that’s been a huge (and most unwelcome) presence in my life!

I’ve said it before, menopause doesn’t end. You’ve lost key hormones in your body and they don’t just come back after a bit – they never come back. I’m convinced that the clinical definition of menopause being over is the body accepting that death is inevitable and that decay leading to death is only natural. It’s not like having the flu and having it be over!

Sadly, one difference that has occurred over these past 10 years is that I used to be quick to point out that I was in surgical menopause – because I went into menopause earlier than the average – I was very young. Now, 10-years later I’m quick to point out that I may still be IN menopause (doubtful, but you prove I’m not!) – because I’m too young to be finished with menopause. Damn, the years are unkind in so many ways!

My journey through menopause has been anything but “normal.” I had severe, and misdiagnosed, endometriosis culminating in lengthy surgery at the age of 48. They took everything out, including my cervix and then scraped the detritus off of my poor abused organs. Ah hell, it made for fun stories over cocktails!

Is Normal Challenging?

Almost a decade later, I’m still dealing with thermostat issues – both day and night, scar tissue challenges and abdominal bloating – which could be attributable to the scar tissue i.e. I didn’t have “normal” menopause, and if menopause is over (another question for the ages – is menopause EVER over?) then why am I still not “normal?”

I hear a lot of stories from a lot of different women regarding their own experiences with menopause. They range from life changing to barely noticeable – but after years of gathering data I haven’t come across normal. I guess what I’m saying is that I can’t define normal even though I know a whole lot more about this phenomenon now than when I first embarked on the journey.

Once it occurred to me that I have a lot to say about menopause – other than what’s normal – my curiosity started working overtime. I want to know what “normal” menopause looks like. Is it “normal” to have hot flashes? How bad? For how long? Is it “normal” to gain weight? Is it “normal to lose it again? (I’m beginning to suspect that menopause is similar to George Carlin’s description of drivers “everyone who drives faster than you is a MANIAC and everyone who drives slower than you is a dangerous road hazard!” – in the event that I’m right about this I might as well plant my stake in the ground, so everyone who’s menopause was worse than mine is “really messed up” and everyone who had an easier menopause is either “a lightweight or a no good lying…”). Which one are you?

I’m guessing there’s no written definition of “normal menopause” but I’d like to know what you think. Was your experience with menopause “normal?” What makes you think that? Will you share your story with me?