Ten years ago in October I had a hysterectomy and started down my menopausal journey. In many ways it feels more like 30 years ago! So much has happened – correction – so much has had to be dealt with in that 10-year time frame.

Looking back on these past ten years the dominant feeling has been one of frustration. Dealing with a body that has changed, and not much of that change has been positive! I don’t even feel as joyous over the lack of a monthly cycle as I’d expected – man, I thought that would be a celebration every month – but it feels as though it’s just kind of faded away. Sometimes I try to remind myself of the discomfort and inconvenience just so I can feel triumphant – but it falls kind of flat.

What I do experience is the greater difficulty in losing weight (not that it’s ever been easy), the night sweats and the hot flashes. The ever present need to check my “freshness” on pretty much every front. In short, I kind off feel like a walking, clammy blob. It’s not great!

Do I sound whiny? Honey, I’m just getting started, but I’ll guarantee those around me would be crabbing about the broken record who’s been overgenerous with her TMI!

In fact, I’m lucky. I have a great doctor who monitors my hormones and works to improve my symptoms, a wonderful chiropractor who helps me with symptoms as well as controlling scar tissue from my surgery – that’s been a huge (and most unwelcome) presence in my life!

I’ve said it before, menopause doesn’t end. You’ve lost key hormones in your body and they don’t just come back after a bit – they never come back. I’m convinced that the clinical definition of menopause being over is the body accepting that death is inevitable and that decay leading to death is only natural. It’s not like having the flu and having it be over!

Sadly, one difference that has occurred over these past 10 years is that I used to be quick to point out that I was in surgical menopause – because I went into menopause earlier than the average – I was very young. Now, 10-years later I’m quick to point out that I may still be IN menopause (doubtful, but you prove I’m not!) – because I’m too young to be finished with menopause. Damn, the years are unkind in so many ways!

I had my hysterectomy eight years ago. It’s ancient history. True, except for the fact that the extensive endometriosis which lead to the surgery in the first place has left me with a growing crop of debilitating scar tissue that promises to stick with me forever!

Better yet, the scar tissue morphs and periodically builds to a level where wearing virtually anything is painful! Sometimes it attacks and places extensive stress on specific organs; I had no idea why I was getting readings of having a bladder infection while they were telling me I had no bladder infection.

I have had times when I’ve worn an outfit and been fine. Two weeks later I put the same pair of pants on and there was no way I could endure the pain. My first thought is always “rats, I must have gained weight.” So I get the added joy of feeling fat before eventually – over time- coming to the conclusion that my discomfort is more a by-product of scar tissue than overeating. There’s nothing like an affliction that can make you suffer varied layers of pain!

There are things you can do to help when the discomfort gets serious, but there’s no cure. You can get deep tissue massage (by an extremely experienced healing masseuse), you can get white laser treatments and/or percussor treatments by a top-notch chiropractor.

I know of several women who have chosen to go back under the knife in order to remove painful scar tissue. That becomes necessary when the damage is extensive and the pain is unbearable. I was talking to a highly regarded gynecologist a few years ago and she had some simple advice for me “under no circumstance should you let anyone talk you into surgery for your scar tissue – it will only grow back.” Words I have lived by!

Sometimes it just gets to be too much. That’s when you need someone to talk you off the “surgery ledge” – because it’s so tempting to think of getting the scar tissue cut out once and for all!  Ah, but there’s the rub (literally) because the most recent surgery will merely generate its own scar tissue – and the devil you know might well be, well, you know…

I’ve been taking bio-identical hormones for several years now – since my hysterectomy in 2004. Once things got going I was feeling great – not a symptom in sight. Then my doctor’s practice had a shake-out and my doctor left the market. Wonderful man that he was, he recommended someone who could help me continue my hormone journey.

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After two years of sharing my challenges, triumphs, frustrations, discomforts and random thoughts about the menopausal time of life on Menologues it seems like a good idea to take a look at where this journey started and how far it has come.
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