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Menologues

Because stumbling blindly through menopause is less fun than it sounds

Summer’s coming and what does that mean?

April24

What else? The diet is underway.

When I start “the diet” as I’ve done many times over the course  of my lifetime, it is always with a goal and intent.

This time, my desire to look better is outweighed by the medical community and their threats of diabetes looming down the road. Do they do this to every non-skinny person around my age?

At any rate, it took a lot to get me into “the zone” mentally this time. When I’m in “the zone” I have a steel will. Try to get me to eat dessert at great personal risk – because I will hurt you!

This time, it’s harder than it’s ever been. Because I’m older and have additional medical issues that make losing weight an ever increasing challenge. It used to be easy – relatively speaking. It hasn’t been for a few years now. What I mean by ‘not easy’ is I’m not sure I’ll succeed. One could argue that I’ve never been sure of success in the past – at least not until I reached my goal – which wasn’t all the time, there were times when I quit out of frustration. There’s some truth to that.

This time I am determined. I am determined to surpass my medical goal and possibly even surpass my personal goal. I’ve got a great start – I’m down over ten pounds already. My next major hurdle is taking a long time – and it’s one I’ve never knowingly succeeded in overcoming.

The pressure is on. I am religiously following my diet. It’s taking forever.

I keep hearing “well, that happens,” “you’re just at a plateau,” “just wait, you’ll see.” All very nice – but none of these comments give me the assurance I seek. And my patience is shot!

Over the past two weeks I’ve lost somewhere between 1.5 – 2.8 pounds (I thought it was 2.8 until I got on the scale this morning – dammit). It’s just sooooo slow! And going backwards just sucks!!!!

Then there’s this major kidding myself thing. Right now I’m telling myself I’ll get way down and monitor carefully so I stay there. It seems to be working for Marie Osmond – but not so much for me. At least it never has in the past.

During and after every successful diet in my past, I was sure I’d be disciplined enough to never regain the weight – and obviously that has never been the case.

There’s a lot of obesity in my ancestry – am I just meant to be fat? Am I beating fate for fleeting moments here and there – only to fall back to my true body size when nature takes it’s course – if that’s the case why am I beating myself up – shouldn’t I give in to a greater force? But I do feel like crap when I’m heavier – so that’s a deterrent.

So in summary, I have posed a lot of questions, questions born of insecurity. I sure could use some moral support from women who struggle with weight, are too smart for their own good and are too lazy to always do the right thing in the right way – so they seek shortcuts. In short, I don’t need help from saints who are diligent, eat healthy (i.e. all fresh foods, nothing processed and low salt, low fat – you get the drift) because I’m never gonna be that person!

 

 

 

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What a difference a day makes

November11

I have been known to complain from time to time – don’t be shocked. Life after menopause has not been all peaches and cream. I have also candidly admitted that it might not all be due to menopause – I’ve had a few random health issues that could easily have contributed to my dissatisfaction with the way my body functions.

Very recently a few things happened that seem to be making a pretty big difference for me.

My hormone doctor and I have been going round and round on my thyroid medication. I keep telling her that my dosage is too low and she keeps telling me that she doesn’t want to take any chances with overmedicating me (the AMA doesn’t believe I should have ANY thyroid medication despite the fact that I’ve had the majority of my thyroid removed). I appreciate her caution – but my body does not!

I finally convinced her to up the dosage. She said “okay, I’ll double the dosage, but every time I do that we wait a few weeks, take a blood test, and end up lowering it again.” I was willing to take the chance.

From the moment I started taking the increased dosage I underwent a metamorphosis. It was like a grizzly bear coming out of hibernation. No longer was my greatest decision on the weekend whether or not to lie on the couch or the loveseat while watching HGTV and dozing. I even organized my shoe closet!

Thankfully, the blood test came back in agreement with what my body was telling me.

Then, a few weeks later, a good friend told me about a fruit and vegetable cleanse. I tried it for two days and lost 8 pounds. I feel a million times better!

Those two changes have made a marked impact on my life.

Am I exactly where I want to be weight wise? Hell no, but 8 pounds is an awesome start – and I plan on doing that cleanse on and off throughout the holidays to help stave off holiday creep.

So what’s the point of my little story? Just a few small steps in the right direction can make a huge improvement. You can re-energize and feel much better long before you achieve all of your aggressive goals. Go ahead and try healthy improvements and take your victories with gusto – no matter how minor they may seem!

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How Does A Menopausal Woman Eat?

August13

We all know a large percentage of menopausal women have a tendency toward weight gain, but many of our doctors tell us that if we buckle down and do the work we can fix that. Do we need to tell these docs to get their heads out of their “Clavens” and face our reality?

I’ve tried it all. I mean recently. Over 30 years I tried it all and much of it worked. It was hard work – but it paid off. Not so much now.

I work my butt off eating all the right foods and exercising and results are just not forthcoming. Thankfully I love fruits and vegetables, but let’s face it you can eat only so many garden fresh tomatoes before your complexion turns that fire engine shade of really bright red!

Okay, I exaggerate, but nothing is working for me right now and it’s making me crazy. I’ve tried gluten free, wheat free, carb free, starch free, low cal and whatever else you can think of – and nothing. And let’s not even talk about the bloating – I’ll just sob!

The next doctor that tell me that two months isn’t enough to gauge whether or not X will work is going to get my boot in their ass! I know gluten free folks who claim to know within a week or two – so when absolutely nothing happens over 6 – 8 weeks – I know someone is blowing smoke up my skirt!

What’s even worse is that when I’m on full swing in my “recommended diet du jour” and am lamenting about a discernable lack of positive reinforcement, a well-meaning friend/acquaintance, who clearly puts little effort into life-sustaining behavior will always manage to chime in with “well, if you didn’t drink diet soda, you could probably drop those extra pounds.” Let me just say in the calmest and most rational voice I can muster “I want to drop you into a tank of piranhas and then throw the remains into a fiery volcano.”

Does that seem like an overreaction to you?


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Underwear Doesn’t Help

May10

It’s a never ending battle. You diet religiously to lose a few precious pounds, and two days later you’re all puffed up like a blowfish. It just sucks. Up and down and virtually impossible to control.

Underwear

The other day I came to a startling revelation. I bought a three pack of hi-cut underpants. They were cute colors and the fabric was cotton – perfect for the warmer weather to come.

The next morning, I opened the pack and put on the first pair. Oh crap. Were they smaller than the ones I typically buy? Had I added a few pounds unwittingly? Or maybe I was bloated for some inexplicable reason. I pondered the possibilities that cast a slight pall on my day, lamenting the fact that my cool new hi-cuts were a tad more snug than I would have liked.

The next day I approached the package with far less enthusiasm. I grabbed the next pair in line and slid them on. They were fabulous! They fit perfectly and looked great – I could not have been more pleased.

And then it dawned on me. Inconsistencies in an identical product had messed me up the day before! Those bastards! They robbed me of a day when I could have felt this good – because they couldn’t produce a consistent product!

I started to think of all the other times when unexpected product inconsistency had messed with my mind, making me think that my body was betraying me even worse than it actually was. I recalled a recent event where I had purchased a really cool pair of pjs online. When they came, I loved them – but the colors ran after washing. I contacted the manufacturer and they offered to replace the pair. When the new pair came I tried them on and almost choked to death. I took them off and checked the size – yep – they were the same as the original oh so comfortable pair.

How often do you think inconsistencies in manufacturing are what cause us to beat ourselves up? I bet it’s more than we think! Oh well, at least my Mom got a free pair of pj bottoms out of the deal!

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In This New Year. Will We Finally Shed Those Unwanted Pounds or Will We Instead Choke Our Jenny Representative to Death? Tough Choice.

January12

As each year draws to a close there are certain traditions that are observed. We enter the holiday season with an eye toward sharing, festivities, thankfulness – and another eye toward moving “out with the old and in with the new.”

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Diet or Sleep. Pick One!

September12
Diet or Sleep?

Diet or Sleep?

Everyone knows that menopausal women can have trouble sleeping. Everyone knows that menopausal women can have trouble with weight gain. Two separate issues – right?

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Reviewing the Journey

August5

After two years of sharing my challenges, triumphs, frustrations, discomforts and random thoughts about the menopausal time of life on Menologues it seems like a good idea to take a look at where this journey started and how far it has come.
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