My business partner approached me a little over a year ago (we own a Marketing/Advertising firm). She said that I was a great resource for women entering menopause because I’d been through it and I wasn’t afraid to offer helpful information in a painless manner.  Hell I could even make these women laugh. She reminded me that menopause is a huge avoidance category and that even the most intelligent women wait too long before educating themselves on some critical issues.

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Yesterday was a tough day.  I received some information that upset and unnerved me.  I was a little freaked out and totally stressed. 

It’s been quite a while since I’ve experienced night sweats.  I’ve never had them on a regular basis and they’ve never been all that severe in my case.  Last night they were brutal.  I woke up several times feeling soaked and needing to be toweled off.  I’ve never had a night like that before. 

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Dear Mom,

I want you to know how very fortunate I feel to have had you with me for all these years – 54 and counting.  Especially since you lost your own parents before your 30th birthday.  That also means that you didn’t have a hands-on role model in dealing with an adult daughter.  I think you’ve struck an excellent balance in your role as my friend, teacher, mentor and yes even sometimes tormentor.

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Those words strike fear into the hearts of the masses.  But why?  Do we see menopausal women wandering the countryside attacking villagers?  Are we reading about mass murders perpetrated by the 50-something female?  No.

Then why?  I know many women who’ve gone through, and many who are going through, menopause.  I’ve been through it myself.  The majority of these women have appeared to behave no differently than anyone else I’ve observed. Even when angry.  So why the bum rap?

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Reaching your 50’s and experiencing menopause marks a natural juncture in your life. You begin to question what you’ve done and whether or not you’re poised to attain your life’s goals.

And that can be sobering. How many of your dreams have been reached at this point?  As you move through your own reflections consider one very important factor: would you really want the best of your life to be behind you at this stage?

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When I’m in the zone, losing weight and I’ve nearly reached my “right weight” I’m frequently asked “Will you know when to stop so you don’t lose too much”?

And in my case the answer is “yes”.

I’ve been asked that by my doctor as well as my neighbor (who thought I already looked too thin bless her heart).  I can’t actually tell you exactly where my optimum weight will end up being.  I have a general idea but as we age things start to shift and what was a perfect weight for me 5 years ago might actually be too thin for me now (don’t roll your eyes it has absolutely happened to me!).  That means each time you embark on a weight loss program of any sort you have to watch for your own personal body weight indicators.  And for me that’s when my curves start to disappear.

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I had a friend who said that the reason women love shoes so much is that body weight can fluctuate causing clothing size to change – which gets depressing – but shoes are forever!  Fashionable shoes make you feel good and weight gain does not cause your shoe size to increase causing you to face yet another perceived failure.  Clearly this friend was not yet 50!

That was true for years.  My weight – and thus my clothing size – always fluctuated but my favorite pumps would always fit – and always make me feel special.

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We are woman in our fifties and we come in all shapes and sizes.  As with women of all ages we can be sleek and chic or dumpy and frumpy and a host of other visual ranges.

But what do people see when they look at us?  I think that’s an issue we wrestle with our whole lives.  At least I have.  When we’re young girls they look at us and see inexperience and immaturity.  When we’re morphing into women they see gangly and awkward.  Or do they?

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Who doesn’t hate that word?  The very sight or sound of it makes us cringe.  It’s typically considered a necessary evil.  I wonder if the negativity surrounding the “D” word makes it that much harder for us to handle the enormous emotional roller coaster aligned with weight gain and weight loss?

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It all kind of hits the fan at just about the same time – 50ish.  The entrance into the years when AARP starts gunning for you while at the same time you’re laying low, expecting your body to erupt in what could well be a hideous transformation spurred by fluctuating hormones and weirdly unpleasant physical manifestations (spontaneous combustion anyone?).

Many of us have been through it and survived, even thrived.  But we all ducked when we saw it coming.  We didn’t know what to expect and we’d been frightened by reports of those who came before us.  Just the thought of “getting old” unhinged many a stalwart warrior.  Some of us were calm enough to handle it stoically, and some were just a hot mess.

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