There are many of you who are proud to announce that you have “never had a symptom and found menopause to be a breeze”.  That’s true.  I hear it occasionally.  To add insult to injury most of you have never experienced an ounce of weight gain during your menopausal episode – and that’s when I really start to get cranky.  But to be fair you should feel good about escaping from the horrors that are visited on the many.

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The majority of what you read about menopause addresses various related complaints and ways in which to mitigate them. It can be pretty disheartening. Others typically view you with anything from sympathy to revulsion (those damn young people can be brutal and they don’t even realize it half the time – sure their day will come – but we’ll be dead so what good will it do us?). Given those circumstances all of my urgings to reposition menopause as something positive versus its current capacity as the last station stop before death should fall on deaf ears – right? I mean what could be positive about a resounding confirmation of old age? But is that really what menopause is about – or should be about? Did nature provide us with a major stage in our lives only to serve as a reminder of imminent death? Doubtful.

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Let me start by saying “Be careful!”  When you wake up on that minus 5 degree day your temptation will be to pull on the long johns and break out the heavy socks and boots.  And trust me – if you do you’ll likely live to regret it.  Hell, I can’t even wear a suit jacket in the office on some of the coldest days of the year.  My best advice to you is “never forget the menopausal furnace when dressing”.

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I have been neglecting one of the critical and possibly most embarrassing symptoms of menopause – Hallmark Tears.  Jackie, author of the new breast cancer support and information blog www.secondbasedispatch.blogspot.com, reminded me of my omission when she recently shared this comment:

“I don’t mind sharing this and Robin, I’m hoping you may want to blog about it. I’ve noticed that heading into menopause reminds me a lot of 8th grade–it’s almost like the hormones are gathering up for a last hurrah before they leave. I feel as emotional exiting the reproductive years as I felt entering them. I can’t stand to watch those ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLaughlin and don’t even get me started on Marley and Me. Has anyone else noticed that?”

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On average menopause starts at age 52 and goes until age 54.  And that can vary a great deal – starting much earlier and lasting for as long as ten years – it’s really anyone’s guess.  I will never know when menopause would have started for me because I went into surgical menopause at the age of 48.  About a year ago I asked my doctor if I was past menopause.  He said there was no sure way to tell because I supplement hormones so some of the changes that would be expected won’t occur unless I stop supplementing them.  And I’m not about to do that.

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Getting older is exploring uncharted territory.  So very often things that worked in your youth can’t be relied on now: like when you try to lose weight.  There are people who feel that once you hit menopause and gain weight your destiny has been sealed.  And it’s true that you can probably forget those diets that melted pounds away in your 20’s, 30’s and even 40’s – menopausal weight gain is a formidable adversary that has triumphed over even the most stalwart diet and exercise fanatic.  It is formidable – but are things hopeless?

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Being forgetful.  It becomes a big fear as you get older.  And menopause is infamous for causing “problems with concentrating” and “memory lapses.”  But does it really?  Or are we just more conscious of routine forgetfulness as we advance in years and approach menopause?  Some women even use it as a convenient catchall for the inability to focus, “Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just in menopause”, but for the rest of us it’s scary as hell.

I know I do forget things.  In fact, this morning I had to think a minute before I could remember where I’d saved this file since starting it yesterday.  But didn’t I always have that problem?  I forget.

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I really appreciate all of the wonderful feedback that I’ve received so far.  As I talk to women all over the country it’s become clear that many of you have a story that you’re anxious to tell.  And we’re anxious to hear it.  That’s why we’ve provided the “Share Your Story” link for you (use the link one the right hand side NOT as a comment on this story — comments on this story will be public) .  So that Menologues can be a conduit we can use to help one another.

If you use the link on the right hand side of the page, your story won’t appear on the newest Menologues blog.  It will be accessible only to those of us at Menologues.  We may reference a specific example anonymously, in another blog, unless you specify otherwise.  Conversely, if you are willing to share with everyone be sure to make that clear in your write up.  I will contact you directly and together we can determine how we can tell your story in a way that will make you feel comfortable and well served.  Good or bad you have had experiences that can benefit other women.  And they want the benefit of your knowledge.