Ten years ago in October I had a hysterectomy and started down my menopausal journey. In many ways it feels more like 30 years ago! So much has happened – correction – so much has had to be dealt with in that 10-year time frame.
Looking back on these past ten years the dominant feeling has been one of frustration. Dealing with a body that has changed, and not much of that change has been positive! I don’t even feel as joyous over the lack of a monthly cycle as I’d expected – man, I thought that would be a celebration every month – but it feels as though it’s just kind of faded away. Sometimes I try to remind myself of the discomfort and inconvenience just so I can feel triumphant – but it falls kind of flat.
What I do experience is the greater difficulty in losing weight (not that it’s ever been easy), the night sweats and the hot flashes. The ever present need to check my “freshness” on pretty much every front. In short, I kind off feel like a walking, clammy blob. It’s not great!
Do I sound whiny? Honey, I’m just getting started, but I’ll guarantee those around me would be crabbing about the broken record who’s been overgenerous with her TMI!
In fact, I’m lucky. I have a great doctor who monitors my hormones and works to improve my symptoms, a wonderful chiropractor who helps me with symptoms as well as controlling scar tissue from my surgery – that’s been a huge (and most unwelcome) presence in my life!
I’ve said it before, menopause doesn’t end. You’ve lost key hormones in your body and they don’t just come back after a bit – they never come back. I’m convinced that the clinical definition of menopause being over is the body accepting that death is inevitable and that decay leading to death is only natural. It’s not like having the flu and having it be over!
Sadly, one difference that has occurred over these past 10 years is that I used to be quick to point out that I was in surgical menopause – because I went into menopause earlier than the average – I was very young. Now, 10-years later I’m quick to point out that I may still be IN menopause (doubtful, but you prove I’m not!) – because I’m too young to be finished with menopause. Damn, the years are unkind in so many ways!